Let’s be real for a second. Warning: not so nice language, mental images, and all around vibe coming.
If you have a not so perfect gut (stomach, intestinal system, colon, butt hole, stink maker… you get it) you’ve had an embarrassing, maybe painful moment a time or two. Don’t you wish you could just talk about it openly without it being taboo?
Unfortunately, my mission is not to change the world’s view on farts. But I can share with you some of my misfortunes with food allergies in hopes to give you someone to relate to.
Easter was a bad day.
At the time I was a bartender by day, travel blogger by night. On Easter, I had the joy of being the brunch bartender. I woke up with a sour tummy feeling (side note: I also had a raging sinus infection aka I was a solid 10 on the joyful scale that morning).
Ignoring it, like I always do, I went off to work.
Once I got there and started setting up, my actual stomach started hurting, like really hurting. This pain was delightfully followed by cold poop sweats and extreme need for a potty. Lucky for me my place of employment only has one, one-stall bathroom for guests and staff to share.
Score! I don’t even get the privacy of the back of the house to wallow in.
The next few hours were spent rotating between momentary relief, utterly excruciating lower abdominal pain and extreme bathroom situations interspersed with crying. I had to juggle all of this whilst making a record setting amount of mimosas and bloody marys and greeting guests with nothing but a smile and cheerful disposition.
Isn’t it nice to just talk about the issues rather than spending so much energy trying to hide what’s going on and playing the pretend that smell wasn’t you game.
If this grosses you out, you may want to glaze over many of my posts. When you have gut issues you’re going to have bad days; there are going to be embarrassing moments that can’t be avoided.
I want people to trust that I have those days too. Now, a few days later, I just laugh and shrug off that bad day. I could wallow in it and beat myself up about how embarrassing it was and that my coworkers and many guests know I was pooping all afternoon.
What difference does it make?
It’s not something I could help. It was my body being an asshole (pun intended) and well I’m stuck with this one body and I’ve got to deal with whatever it throws me.
Just remember to keep your sense of humor.
Laughing about the stickiest (or smelliest…) of situations always make them easier to bare. Isolating yourself and trying to go it alone isn’t usually the best recipe.
Tell me about a bad day you had! Even if it isn’t centered around digestion. I promise I’ll read it.